Diva FlashBack & A Little Advice

House Parties
And I'm not talking the original Kid N Play house parties.
Although they had their swagger on lock with those fro's and bottom hugging shorts commonly referred to as 'Batty Riders'.
The days of sir mixalot liking all those big butts, but lets not bask to far before my time, because I'm sure I was too young to dress like that and party that hard, but that was for the oldies, the early 80's babies.

Moving on rather swiftly do you remember the days when house parties finished within two hours of starting because bemused little tyrants thought it was hilarious to ruin some one's celebrations.
Thrusting out of time with some poor fella who is under developed and thought he was the don of all time, because he got a dance with a booty like mine.
The things you do when your young, no longer an innocent party.

Anyways, back to the present, I must admit thinking about the past gave me the giggles.

Serious Diva Talk!!!
When did it become cool to go off with random people and have sex?
In this society we are seeing this all too often, young people, adults and even OAP's enrolling on the sex with no strings course, as disturbing as it is to admit that OAP's are still very much so sexually active, this is a problem.
Having a good time now consists of back alleyway drunken escapades, dreadful hangovers with a slight difference; an unknown person next to you and for most; utter regret, however for others the smile is a permanent fixture.
We all love a bit of fun, adrenalin pumping, sweaty palmed type of fun, but instead of putting your health iat risk, you get the same thrill bungee jumping; okay that's quite extreme but use Condoms and don't be a moron and say they don't fit, or their uncomfortable, because whether male or female we all know, tears will shed when you receive that phone call from the clinic within three days; IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT...as Tinie Tempah Says; WEAR A HAT!

Yeah, I tried being serious but it didn't work, so back to the real gritty stuff.
Did you know secretly guys love bigger girls, don't let them lie to you the commonly used quote 'More cushion for the pushing' comes to mind, that's why they take you to Nandos and not Burger king!

One thing I can say i'm sick and tired of hearing is ' Oh My Gosh I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing', we all know you knew exactly what you was doing, pulling your knick knocks down to go toilet is a totally different action to you and a guy both pulling your underwear down and performing *cough cough*.
Get real with yourselves, it made you SMILE, don't regret anything that made you smile.

Do you know what really grinds my gears! (family guy lol) Big feet, I physically, emotionally and mentally do not understand short people with huge feet, I have size five fat feet to be fair, but how do people under 5ft 8in have size nine feet?
Not only are feet disgusting and should be left alone under socks unless predicured. But size NINE feet?

I Just thought i'd update you slightly on what I was thinking, but don't worry bunnies, i'll be back with a fashion feature later on! YAY,

So make sure you follow me on twitter

http://www.twitter.com/therryijay

Peace, Love && Safe Sex
Therryi-Jay
xxxxxx

Diva Does Dinner

I attended the N.E.E.T (Not in Education, Employment && Training) Awards today, i'm exetremly proud of the young people who took part in the whole programme, with earning on an average of 50 AQA's between them in 8weeks is an achievement, so the article featured in the SUN NEWSPAPER recently shouldn't discourage people from achieving these AQA's because the one thing they did leave out is that an AQA in 'using the bus' is a special needs AQA and they say prejudice shouldn't exist but yet it's right here in our press.

On my way to the awards there was a protest outside the halls.

I don't really know what they were talking about, but I thought it was cool, and maybe highrise living isn't the answer but at least the views are nice!

After the ceremony we went to NANDO'S and ohmydays, I had a feast fit for a Diva and a Fatty and I don't mean the same person, but seeing as i'm both it was like being in Nandos' haven!
check it out...

Look @ That Plate, and yes i do eat with a knife and fork
Finger food is not fashionable
LET ME TELL YOU THAT FOR FREE!

There's Plenty more where this came from.

So after stuffing my beautful face, with succulent glorified KFC oh I mean NANDO'S, I literally struggled to woddle up my road home, if I was lighter skinned i'm sure you would have seen my discomfort in my face, but don't worry I still kept it TPW and this Diva still looked good in my yellow top, jeans and colgate white air forces half strutting, half woddling up that A road.

I was bored at home so bored twitter nor facebook was keeping me occupied I decided to meet up with the girls for a cheeky Sailor Jerry or two and we started talking, it was so out of this world, I had read an article about urban contraception myths and what can I say but brace yourself.

1---Eat a clove of Garlic before having sex
That's a funny one, the only thing garlic does is give you really bad breath and I know the only thing it's known to protect you from is vampires.

2---Putting chick skin other his penis, ermm yeah that's DISGUSTING that's like literally having sex with a chicken, i'm sure that's inhumane.

3---Bread, didn't they always tell you carbs are not good, forget shoving bread inside your inisides.

I will never see Chicken, Garlic or Bread in the same light! Unless i'm stuffing my gob, and we all know that's common when it comes to me, but at least I eat with a knife and fork.

Peace Love && Grilled Peri Peri Chicken
Therryi-Jay xxx

www.twitter.com/therryijay

Random Day Of Wickedness

Awoken by screams, yells and crying I was not impressed, what is up with this world and NOT LETTING ME SLEEP!
I laid there watching GMTV whilst my older sister got her four beautiful children ready for that awful first day BACK TO SCHOOL, not only was I annoyed by the fact that my three year old niece was crying because she doesn't start nursery yet and wanted to go with her older brother and sisters, but I had a reckless sleep due to the all so comfortable cushions on her leather reclining sofas, or the fact that I just can't seem to get comfortable anywhere nowadays.
So after being forced to wake up, I calmed Rae down; they say she resembles me almost 100% of the time and i'm not talking about her eating habits, I asked her to go and get something to play with and look how she decided to entertain her aunty (me).

I know she's not right, but I love her, and she did make me laugh! And those are NOT her real teeth!

As it was my day off from work, I decided to raid my sisters dvd collection, to my surprise a dvd literally jumped out at me.
Sugarhouse, yes! I know i'm late but you know Diva's never know time, well what I still fail to understand is How and why and I wonder if putting your face in ice cold water could kill you.
I'm still in utter shock to be honest and this is why;

HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO GET THIS

And Turn Him Into THIS

Unfortunately due to my niece being only three years old, I had to turn the DVD off I know can't she just sleep like a normal three year old.

So it's the middle of the day and my sister is outside her front door, speaking to her neighbour a lovely man; we're contributing to a real in depth conversation about the increase on crime around the area, their other mad neighbour who seems to want to kill himself but gets it wrong all the time, and he calls me COLOURED, how is this possible, I am not a book that children colour in, at first I thought it was a mistake then every time when referring to a black person he called them coloured or dark folk.
THIS IS A PROBLEM, we live in a multicultural society that throughout time has witnessed a lot of racially motivated crime, but it still isn't cool to insult me and converse with me in the same instance in 2009. Moving on before I get passionate.

So as this potbelly don't know time, I had to rush to get to REPREZENT a youth radio station in which I was co-hosting the Themeless show with Aaron Hanson.

I went to the train station and was just about to purchase a ticket and some man gave me a £12.60 travel card, great the smile that came to my face replicated a fat kid when he see's chocolate cake, RESULT!
There actually are really good people in this world, I know I would have done the same, but nowadays the gloom that surrounds us and the unpredictable reactions of our fellow citizens, we never know what's going to happen.
I finally get to the radio station, and I jump straight on the mic, the combination of Aarons' deep voice and my high pitched murmur complement one another all so well, we begin to joke about, talking about beat boxing as our guest MARV-ILL begins to beat box he is so talented, how do you beat box an umpa lumpa melody, well it's possible, because he did it.

One question we did ask though which seemed to cause abit of an uproar;
Are you gonna bang doe's? Funky Dee, what is his AGE. PSSSSHHHH Controversy!

So after a great show I get on the train home, and arghhhh VOMIT, at precisely 21:32 on the southeastern train to HAYES (KENT) some sick son of a gun vomits on the train.
ERGHHH only in London!

Well guys! you know it's all love.

Love, Peace and DIVA SMILES
Therryi-Jay
xx

DIVA DAY OF WOW!

It was an early morning, the sleep I found myself in was refreshing, really deep and uninterrupted until....0930 hrs my mobile phone rings (Are you serious, I only had two hours sleep, and if i had insurance on this overpriced LG ARENA I would have thrown it out my window, feeding it to the cold, crisp air of London) but as it's not insured, and I couldn't bare the thought of my phone ringing until I answered it, so I decided to!!

Yes!

I ANSWERED MY PHONE.

After being forced to wipe the matter out of my eyes, sit up and edit a few pictures for an ASOS.com competition, I finally went back to sleep at like 11.20AM it seemed to all work out so well, from only having two hours sleep, functioning and actually editing a few pics to going back to sleep almost two hours later.
Disaster hits and my stupid ALARM CLOCK goes off at 11.25AM

DOES THIS WORLD NOT WANT ME TO SLEEP.

but regardless....

So fast forward a couple hours, PotBelly DIVA time! 4pm

So i'm in the bank, and i've never had so many events' occur in my sight in less that 7mins.

A woman wearing a short no.3 haircut, open toe sandals, unpolished toes, ankle swingers with a blue shirt and a washed out black cropped jacket, approaches me (I know can you believe it, i tried not to make eye contact and i'm the one she approaches) and asks "what time does the bank close" I look at her in total despair and then in confusion and then i realise I don't know, I don't work in the bank and that's exactly what I said to her, this lady then goes outside and through the doors of the bank tells me it closes at 4:30pm, what this woman clearly failed to understand I'M ALREADY IN THE QUEUE FOR THE CASHIER, why do I care?

But Thats.....Not All!!!

With only two cashiers in the branch, no customer service reps the woman seems to take a seat at one of the customer service desks, maybe her feet were being pushed forward and she was in pain who knows.

NOPE!!!

She takes out her phone book and letters and starts calling all the 0845 numbers she knows.

..............................NO WAY........................................YES WAY.................................LOOK BELOW...

SO I THOUGHT HER FEET WERE HURTING HER!

She starts to get the papers out!
AND SHE USES THE PHONE!

And just because i'm fast I asked the cashier if this was allowed and she said NO.
THIS LADY GETS A POTBELLY NO NO....

I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH.....

On my journey down the road from the bank, I find this beauty.
SO beautiful, I want it, I want it real bad.
I want it like a middle aged, obesed single woman loves
Cheesecake and Cookie Dough IceCream.

So people, i'll update you on my revelations tomorrow, or the day after, or possibly later on today.

Love, Peace and Potbelly Love

Therryi-Jay xx
www.twitter.com/therryijay

Adventures Of The POTBELLIED DIVA

So Alright! Alright!
Welcome to my ADVENTURES
This is nothing like my other blogs, no music will be previewed on this!
This is my world and i'm here to do me, when I want to and how I want to.
I'm going to RANT, BITCH, COMPLAIN, DEBATE and do what i do all so well ENTERTAIN.
I know THE POTBELLIED DIVA...Right hmm interesting or crazy I know your thinking one of those two, yes you can call me crazy, but if different is crazy then lock me up and put me in a straight vest, no but seriously the list that follows is an explanation of why I am the potbellied DIVA!

1/uno/one- I'm a Plus size princess (PSP) DUR! obvious reasons, you may call it FAT i call it ermmm yeah I call it that too, but damn gimmie a chance.

2/dos/two- I'm what you call DIFFERENT, not because I woke up one day and was like yeah mummy i'm different because i'm chubbier than the rest, but because my size does not restrict me, I still look good, I say what I have to say regardless of what critics have to say (VLOG, FUCK YOU GRIME DAILY PUNKS, NOT GRIME DAILY BUT THE PEOPLE WHO LEFT THOSE RUDE REMARKS KMFA; kiss my fat arse by the way).

3/tres/three- BECAUSE I'M ME!!!

4/quarto/four- Because I have alot to say, and I know I have so much to give and soo much more to Gain.

5/cinco/five- I'm representing for the larger ladies, the smaller ladies and the dam right inbetween ladies, my personality is LARGER than LIFE and i'm OUT OF THIS WORLD! so you know.

So now we have that out the way, this blog is going to contain VIDEO'S of MOI the Potbellied Diva herself, telling you what i feel and general opinions through my new and improved VLOG, so yessur!! I'M BACK.
It's going to have PHOTO'S of my day to day outings as Big Girl (Fat Bitch) in LONDON TOWN.
FASHION that i think is uber cool.
AND I'MMA DROP COUPLE JOKES YEH.
So guys as LIKLE P says . (Yeh I'm catting and what)

PEACE, LOVE && CREAM CHEESE BAGELS.